Very few of my thoughts are truly original. And i think that is one thing that causes me pain, for i long for things to be birthed of my own experience and imagination. And that is a well for another time, so i digress. I mention that to attribute where this thought came from. Mike Wells. He is the reason why i would describe myself as a 'Wellsian' Christian. If you get a chance you can listen to mp3's of about every subject he has spoken on by going HERE. His ministry is to the defeated Christian and if that resonates with you then you need to listen. I would recommend downloading the "Living the Abiding Life" series for starters.
I was listening to one of his tapes on a roadtrip to Columbia, SC recently. There was a lot that stuck out, but i would like to share this one thing. He brought up the passage when the Israelites were coming out of Egypt and GOD provided mana for them. And HE only provided for one day. If they gathered for two the mana would spoil. In this vein Mike said that conversely the Jesus you had yesterday is no benefit to you. That it doesn't matter what awesome thing GOD might (or might not) have done through you in the past.
I had to listen to this several times but then it began to sink into my heart. One of my hopes since following Jesus was that i would become a mature man of GOD. That i would get my crap together in other words. I have heard it described as longing for the 'great christian someday'. And all of this is predicated on one solitary truth. I can do nothing apart from Christ.
And then it begun to come together in my head. Becoming a mature 'man of GOD' is not the point of my life. The point is walking with Jesus everyday. It is not an accumulative effect. My false assumption was in that i believed that the accumulation was in me. That i had the power to retain it. But it is clear and proven that i don't. That whole system, to which i am still a slave, was pride in disguise. Pride that i will be that great person for all to see.
And this is something that is hopefully just taking root in my life. But i want to be able to say that it does not matter whether or not i am viewed as an extraordinary man of GOD. But simply that i wake up every morning and say this, "Jesus, you are welcome here today. I can do nothing apart from you. Please walk with me today. Please let me see with Your eyes." So if i am to be a fool, i pray i can simply be a fool that goes on daily walks with Jesus.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Confessions of a cussing christian
You gotta love catchy titles. I think i need to write a book one day with this title.
I became a follower of Jesus when i was 20. That doesn't exactly qualify as a lifetime before i became a believer, but it was chock full of my history. And the funny thing is that my story is opposite of most people who didn't become a Christian when they were a child. I was a straight-laced kid who did not want to get into trouble. I didn't drink because i didn't see the point. I didn't have sex for i was scared to death to get someone pregnant. And i rarely, if ever, cussed.
Since becoming a believer i now occasionally engage in colorful metaphors, imbibe a nice German beer or wine, and have multiple tattoos and piercings. Like i said, opposite of what you might expect. For example, all of my tattoos have a deep meaning and spiritual significance to me. My wife sees them as murals that testify to what Jesus is making me and where He is taking me. I would say it takes a unique person to have that perspective.
The switch came in that after accepting Christ's offer of salvation He began to tell me who i was. Before that day i was a sad and confusing amalgamation of what i thought others wanted me to be. I was all things to all people for all of the wrong reasons. It was truly an independence day for i began to realize that i did have an identity after all. That i was Matthew, gift of Jehovah, an adopted son of the Creator of the Universe. People of antiquity commonly derived part of their identity from their fathers, "Simon bar Jonah" Or Simon son of Jonah. I began to see myself as my true Father saw me.
All of this to say that my aim is to be a 'genuine' follower of Jesus. Pain is pain and life sometimes cannot be described in Sunday School language. I want Believers and Non to have the freedom to be themselves around me. It almost saddens me when the type of relationship i have with someone causes them to censor their speech around me. I don't want to be that catalyst. I want communion with the Living GOD to enact change in their lives. To further demonstrate this i have seen guys come to Christ over a beer having just watched Fight Club. And in that is a beautiful testimony. So, needless to say you might occasionally see colorful metaphors in my posts.
I became a follower of Jesus when i was 20. That doesn't exactly qualify as a lifetime before i became a believer, but it was chock full of my history. And the funny thing is that my story is opposite of most people who didn't become a Christian when they were a child. I was a straight-laced kid who did not want to get into trouble. I didn't drink because i didn't see the point. I didn't have sex for i was scared to death to get someone pregnant. And i rarely, if ever, cussed.
Since becoming a believer i now occasionally engage in colorful metaphors, imbibe a nice German beer or wine, and have multiple tattoos and piercings. Like i said, opposite of what you might expect. For example, all of my tattoos have a deep meaning and spiritual significance to me. My wife sees them as murals that testify to what Jesus is making me and where He is taking me. I would say it takes a unique person to have that perspective.
The switch came in that after accepting Christ's offer of salvation He began to tell me who i was. Before that day i was a sad and confusing amalgamation of what i thought others wanted me to be. I was all things to all people for all of the wrong reasons. It was truly an independence day for i began to realize that i did have an identity after all. That i was Matthew, gift of Jehovah, an adopted son of the Creator of the Universe. People of antiquity commonly derived part of their identity from their fathers, "Simon bar Jonah" Or Simon son of Jonah. I began to see myself as my true Father saw me.
All of this to say that my aim is to be a 'genuine' follower of Jesus. Pain is pain and life sometimes cannot be described in Sunday School language. I want Believers and Non to have the freedom to be themselves around me. It almost saddens me when the type of relationship i have with someone causes them to censor their speech around me. I don't want to be that catalyst. I want communion with the Living GOD to enact change in their lives. To further demonstrate this i have seen guys come to Christ over a beer having just watched Fight Club. And in that is a beautiful testimony. So, needless to say you might occasionally see colorful metaphors in my posts.
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