Friday, April 08, 2005
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Yesterday's Mana
Very few of my thoughts are truly original. And i think that is one thing that causes me pain, for i long for things to be birthed of my own experience and imagination. And that is a well for another time, so i digress. I mention that to attribute where this thought came from. Mike Wells. He is the reason why i would describe myself as a 'Wellsian' Christian. If you get a chance you can listen to mp3's of about every subject he has spoken on by going HERE. His ministry is to the defeated Christian and if that resonates with you then you need to listen. I would recommend downloading the "Living the Abiding Life" series for starters.
I was listening to one of his tapes on a roadtrip to Columbia, SC recently. There was a lot that stuck out, but i would like to share this one thing. He brought up the passage when the Israelites were coming out of Egypt and GOD provided mana for them. And HE only provided for one day. If they gathered for two the mana would spoil. In this vein Mike said that conversely the Jesus you had yesterday is no benefit to you. That it doesn't matter what awesome thing GOD might (or might not) have done through you in the past.
I had to listen to this several times but then it began to sink into my heart. One of my hopes since following Jesus was that i would become a mature man of GOD. That i would get my crap together in other words. I have heard it described as longing for the 'great christian someday'. And all of this is predicated on one solitary truth. I can do nothing apart from Christ.
And then it begun to come together in my head. Becoming a mature 'man of GOD' is not the point of my life. The point is walking with Jesus everyday. It is not an accumulative effect. My false assumption was in that i believed that the accumulation was in me. That i had the power to retain it. But it is clear and proven that i don't. That whole system, to which i am still a slave, was pride in disguise. Pride that i will be that great person for all to see.
And this is something that is hopefully just taking root in my life. But i want to be able to say that it does not matter whether or not i am viewed as an extraordinary man of GOD. But simply that i wake up every morning and say this, "Jesus, you are welcome here today. I can do nothing apart from you. Please walk with me today. Please let me see with Your eyes." So if i am to be a fool, i pray i can simply be a fool that goes on daily walks with Jesus.
I was listening to one of his tapes on a roadtrip to Columbia, SC recently. There was a lot that stuck out, but i would like to share this one thing. He brought up the passage when the Israelites were coming out of Egypt and GOD provided mana for them. And HE only provided for one day. If they gathered for two the mana would spoil. In this vein Mike said that conversely the Jesus you had yesterday is no benefit to you. That it doesn't matter what awesome thing GOD might (or might not) have done through you in the past.
I had to listen to this several times but then it began to sink into my heart. One of my hopes since following Jesus was that i would become a mature man of GOD. That i would get my crap together in other words. I have heard it described as longing for the 'great christian someday'. And all of this is predicated on one solitary truth. I can do nothing apart from Christ.
And then it begun to come together in my head. Becoming a mature 'man of GOD' is not the point of my life. The point is walking with Jesus everyday. It is not an accumulative effect. My false assumption was in that i believed that the accumulation was in me. That i had the power to retain it. But it is clear and proven that i don't. That whole system, to which i am still a slave, was pride in disguise. Pride that i will be that great person for all to see.
And this is something that is hopefully just taking root in my life. But i want to be able to say that it does not matter whether or not i am viewed as an extraordinary man of GOD. But simply that i wake up every morning and say this, "Jesus, you are welcome here today. I can do nothing apart from you. Please walk with me today. Please let me see with Your eyes." So if i am to be a fool, i pray i can simply be a fool that goes on daily walks with Jesus.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Confessions of a cussing christian
You gotta love catchy titles. I think i need to write a book one day with this title.
I became a follower of Jesus when i was 20. That doesn't exactly qualify as a lifetime before i became a believer, but it was chock full of my history. And the funny thing is that my story is opposite of most people who didn't become a Christian when they were a child. I was a straight-laced kid who did not want to get into trouble. I didn't drink because i didn't see the point. I didn't have sex for i was scared to death to get someone pregnant. And i rarely, if ever, cussed.
Since becoming a believer i now occasionally engage in colorful metaphors, imbibe a nice German beer or wine, and have multiple tattoos and piercings. Like i said, opposite of what you might expect. For example, all of my tattoos have a deep meaning and spiritual significance to me. My wife sees them as murals that testify to what Jesus is making me and where He is taking me. I would say it takes a unique person to have that perspective.
The switch came in that after accepting Christ's offer of salvation He began to tell me who i was. Before that day i was a sad and confusing amalgamation of what i thought others wanted me to be. I was all things to all people for all of the wrong reasons. It was truly an independence day for i began to realize that i did have an identity after all. That i was Matthew, gift of Jehovah, an adopted son of the Creator of the Universe. People of antiquity commonly derived part of their identity from their fathers, "Simon bar Jonah" Or Simon son of Jonah. I began to see myself as my true Father saw me.
All of this to say that my aim is to be a 'genuine' follower of Jesus. Pain is pain and life sometimes cannot be described in Sunday School language. I want Believers and Non to have the freedom to be themselves around me. It almost saddens me when the type of relationship i have with someone causes them to censor their speech around me. I don't want to be that catalyst. I want communion with the Living GOD to enact change in their lives. To further demonstrate this i have seen guys come to Christ over a beer having just watched Fight Club. And in that is a beautiful testimony. So, needless to say you might occasionally see colorful metaphors in my posts.
I became a follower of Jesus when i was 20. That doesn't exactly qualify as a lifetime before i became a believer, but it was chock full of my history. And the funny thing is that my story is opposite of most people who didn't become a Christian when they were a child. I was a straight-laced kid who did not want to get into trouble. I didn't drink because i didn't see the point. I didn't have sex for i was scared to death to get someone pregnant. And i rarely, if ever, cussed.
Since becoming a believer i now occasionally engage in colorful metaphors, imbibe a nice German beer or wine, and have multiple tattoos and piercings. Like i said, opposite of what you might expect. For example, all of my tattoos have a deep meaning and spiritual significance to me. My wife sees them as murals that testify to what Jesus is making me and where He is taking me. I would say it takes a unique person to have that perspective.
The switch came in that after accepting Christ's offer of salvation He began to tell me who i was. Before that day i was a sad and confusing amalgamation of what i thought others wanted me to be. I was all things to all people for all of the wrong reasons. It was truly an independence day for i began to realize that i did have an identity after all. That i was Matthew, gift of Jehovah, an adopted son of the Creator of the Universe. People of antiquity commonly derived part of their identity from their fathers, "Simon bar Jonah" Or Simon son of Jonah. I began to see myself as my true Father saw me.
All of this to say that my aim is to be a 'genuine' follower of Jesus. Pain is pain and life sometimes cannot be described in Sunday School language. I want Believers and Non to have the freedom to be themselves around me. It almost saddens me when the type of relationship i have with someone causes them to censor their speech around me. I don't want to be that catalyst. I want communion with the Living GOD to enact change in their lives. To further demonstrate this i have seen guys come to Christ over a beer having just watched Fight Club. And in that is a beautiful testimony. So, needless to say you might occasionally see colorful metaphors in my posts.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Rebels of a different stripe
I came to an interesting observation today. There seems to be a common thread that runs through much of my preferences. I guess it came to me when i was editing my profile. I was comparing my favourite authors and musicians and i think that is when it hit me.
I like rebels. But not in the way that a rebel is usally connoted. In my opinion the worst example of a rebel is someone that does something purely to get attention. For instance, the young kid who sports all sorts of facial piercings, but gets pissed if you stare. The irony of that makes me laugh. But i enjoy a person that breaks from established rote.
Looking at my music selection - Waterdeep, Stavesacre, Proj86 and Model Engine/BES. They all have something in common. Each of these artists approach their music in a very unique way. They are people of faith, but their audience isn't solely to people of faith. They want to be excellent musicians, and want their music to reach all. Additionally all of these bands have either been hurt or disillusioned by the "Christian music" industry. In response to this they reflect it in their music. And in my opinion they will reach far more as far as spreading GOD's love than many in "Christian Music".
The thread is similar in my list of heroes. Hudson Taylor, 'Jack' Lewis, Michael Wells. These are men that lived a life of following Jesus that was and is new and refreshing. Hudson Taylor was a missionary to China in the early 1800's. Many of his contempories wanted to produce English speaking Western clones. Hudson just wanted to show them Jesus' love. He adopted their language, customs and dress. And he was looked down upon for it.
Now i don't really consider myself to be a rebel. I have piercings and tattoos, but most people wouldn't stare at me as i walk down the street. My wife remarked that it isn't something i do for show. And i guess that is reinforced by the fact that i married a prim and proper preacher's kid who will never have a tattoo.
I am praying for more of these 'rebels' in hopes that we can touch the culture we find ourselves in.
I like rebels. But not in the way that a rebel is usally connoted. In my opinion the worst example of a rebel is someone that does something purely to get attention. For instance, the young kid who sports all sorts of facial piercings, but gets pissed if you stare. The irony of that makes me laugh. But i enjoy a person that breaks from established rote.
Looking at my music selection - Waterdeep, Stavesacre, Proj86 and Model Engine/BES. They all have something in common. Each of these artists approach their music in a very unique way. They are people of faith, but their audience isn't solely to people of faith. They want to be excellent musicians, and want their music to reach all. Additionally all of these bands have either been hurt or disillusioned by the "Christian music" industry. In response to this they reflect it in their music. And in my opinion they will reach far more as far as spreading GOD's love than many in "Christian Music".
The thread is similar in my list of heroes. Hudson Taylor, 'Jack' Lewis, Michael Wells. These are men that lived a life of following Jesus that was and is new and refreshing. Hudson Taylor was a missionary to China in the early 1800's. Many of his contempories wanted to produce English speaking Western clones. Hudson just wanted to show them Jesus' love. He adopted their language, customs and dress. And he was looked down upon for it.
Now i don't really consider myself to be a rebel. I have piercings and tattoos, but most people wouldn't stare at me as i walk down the street. My wife remarked that it isn't something i do for show. And i guess that is reinforced by the fact that i married a prim and proper preacher's kid who will never have a tattoo.
I am praying for more of these 'rebels' in hopes that we can touch the culture we find ourselves in.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Faith...
I am mystified by the duality of Faith. The enigmatic author of Hebrews believed that ,"faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen." This had been stated ad infinitum where it almost qualifies for cliche' status. But do you ever stop to think how terrifying that statement really is? I think it is something that we all too often take for granted. And by "we" i don't simply mean people of "faith". I mean human beings. I am oblivious to the sheer magnitude of faith that would be necessary to step into an automobile every day to and from work. People die in car accidents every day, why not me? I have faith that i will arrive safely, or i would never turn the key.
It is sad that faith has been relegated only to areas of religion or mysticism by those in Academia and constituents of evolutionary and secular humanism. Faith is the most basic element of our everyday lives. The evolutionary biologist must rely on faith to be able to believe what she hopes to be true about her origins and meaning of life. But if you were to describe this process in terms as these, such a person would be deeply offended.
Just as one side cannot truly know if their faith is firmly placed, neither can I. And that is what i mean by terrifying. Just as you cannot prove to me that the reigning theories of Evolution are true, I could not prove my theories on Creation. And that is what scares the hell out of us, that we don't have that certainty, that security.
I believe that is why faith then becomes a palpable substance for all of us. It has to, for we are left with nothing else. We have this innate longing for our hopes to be true. I have a deep longing for a Father GOD who wants to be my Daddy and friend. Conversely, a person from a humanistic mindset might long for they themselves to be the moral compass that guides their decisions and life.
So our faith and belief itself becomes our proof. It sounds circular, and unabashedly it is. For we cannot make that quantum leap to what we want to believe without it. I wish it were more certain than that, but alas those are the governing physics of my life. They are inescapeable.
When it is said that the three greatest things are Faith, Hope & Love. I am grateful that the chief among them is Love. For Love is one thing that us humans can do easily and readily.
It is sad that faith has been relegated only to areas of religion or mysticism by those in Academia and constituents of evolutionary and secular humanism. Faith is the most basic element of our everyday lives. The evolutionary biologist must rely on faith to be able to believe what she hopes to be true about her origins and meaning of life. But if you were to describe this process in terms as these, such a person would be deeply offended.
Just as one side cannot truly know if their faith is firmly placed, neither can I. And that is what i mean by terrifying. Just as you cannot prove to me that the reigning theories of Evolution are true, I could not prove my theories on Creation. And that is what scares the hell out of us, that we don't have that certainty, that security.
I believe that is why faith then becomes a palpable substance for all of us. It has to, for we are left with nothing else. We have this innate longing for our hopes to be true. I have a deep longing for a Father GOD who wants to be my Daddy and friend. Conversely, a person from a humanistic mindset might long for they themselves to be the moral compass that guides their decisions and life.
So our faith and belief itself becomes our proof. It sounds circular, and unabashedly it is. For we cannot make that quantum leap to what we want to believe without it. I wish it were more certain than that, but alas those are the governing physics of my life. They are inescapeable.
When it is said that the three greatest things are Faith, Hope & Love. I am grateful that the chief among them is Love. For Love is one thing that us humans can do easily and readily.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Having a son
The day is drawing near. I have dreamt of it for a long time. It is crazy and sobering to think that in less than 2 months i will be responsible for a new life. And i guess i naively assumed that GOD would prepare me for this day. That He would prepare me to be this incredible dad. To be the dad that i wish i had. But I am utterly unprepared. And i don't believe this is despair, in spite of being scared shitless. I believe it is power.
"And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."
Jesus gave Paul this encouragement and i believe i can take it as well.
"And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."
Jesus gave Paul this encouragement and i believe i can take it as well.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)